032

10 de Julio de 2014
Sueño nocturno

Iba en un taxi en una ciudad que no conozco, hacia un lugar donde debía hacer una parada, y después debía tomar otro taxi al aeropuerto. Iba a volar a Nueva York con Carolina. Ella iba por su cuenta, y habíamos acordado vernos en un lugar cerca del aeropuerto.

Le dije al taxista que tal vez podría esperarme en el lugar donde iba a hacer una parada, me dijo que no quería ir al aeropuerto porque todo estaba inundado, que por nada del mundo se iba a meter ahí. Cuando llegamos a la primera parada, me bajé del taxi con dos maletas, creo que una era de Carolina. Corrí a hacer lo que tenía que hacer (lo cual no recuerdo) y regresé a la calle a buscar un taxi. Recordé que había un lugar para rentar autos en la esquina así que fui ahí, temiendo que algún otro taxista me dijera lo mismo sobre las inundaciones. Renté un auto, subí las maletas y manejé al aeropuerto.

No recuerdo nada inundado, pero si me tardé mucho en llegar, el trayecto fue tedioso pero yo estaba feliz de ver a Carolina, pensaba en lo que íbamos a hacer y los lugares que quería enseñarle.

Después de mucho tiempo llegué a una calle cercana a donde debía ver a Carolina, estacioné el auto y vi que eran las 10 pm. Nuestro avión salía a las 11 y aun no estábamos en el aeropuerto. Entré en pánico, bajé del auto y corrí lo más rápido que pude. Di la vuelta a la esquina y vi un grupo de personas al rededor de una camioneta que se veía nueva, pero era un modelo antiguo, pasé junto a ellos y alguien gritó mi nombre, me detuve y giré la cabeza, era mi papá, pero tenía unos 35 años, tenía el cabello negro y su traje lo hacía ver como Carl Sagan. Me impactó verlo joven, me detuve...

Él: Hijo ¿A dónde vas?

Yo: Tengo que ver a alguien, voy a viajar.

Él: ¿Viajar? pero si eres un chamaco.

Yo: Pa, es difícil de explicar... No soy yo, soy yo, pero adulto, ahora tengo 33 años y vivo en Nueva York.

Él: ¿Qué? Pero...

Yo: Si, mira... agh, tengo muchísima prisa, pero ven (le di un abrazo), te quiero mucho, ya lo verás, el futuro trae tantas cosas...

Di la vuelta y seguí corriendo. Entré a un vestíbulo que parecía un restaurante, con paredes de cristal y una jardinera en medio con un árbol muy grande. En la jardinera estaba recargado un señor, y Carolina hablaba con él. Cuando me acerqué, noté que había una señora junto al señor y ella escuchaba la plática. Toqué el hombro de Carolina - ¿Nutri? -. Ella me vio y brincó a abrazarme, la quería.

Yo: No sabes todo lo que pasó de camino... ¡Es tardísimo!

Ella: ¡Ya sé! ¿Tus maletas?

Yo: Están en el coche, voy por ellas, quería encontrarte primero.

Corrí de regreso y busqué, y busqué, pero no pude encontrar el auto, intenté regresar por donde había llegado y no resultó, no reconocía las calles, intenté conservar la calma. Nada era igual, el lugar donde había visto a mi papá ya no estaba, las calles ya no estaban húmedas, comencé a llorar. Carolina me tocó el hombro:

Ella: Está bien...

Yo: ¡No, no está bien! Debía estar aquí, las maletas, el viaje.

Ella: No importa, me voy a ir a casa de una amiga ahora, es más, podría estar dormida ahorita, ahhh eso si se me antoja, descansar.

Me abrazó. Desperté.

031

24 de Abril de 2014
Sueño nocturno

I was walking on a very wide street, I think at least 20m wide, there was a small post right in the middle of it, a man walking a dog stopped by it, tied the leash of the dog to the post and walked towards the sidewalk, there was a store there, like a Home Depot maybe. The dog looked a lot like Luther and I thought why would he leave it in the middle of the street. A black car almost ran over the dog and people started coming around the dog to warn drivers. I kept walking and I saw another post, this one close to the opposite sidewalk, and there was another dog, all black, with a blue vest, he looked like Daisy back in the day. Another man was untying the leash and he thought someone had abandoned the dog, I knew it had to belong to the same man who had walked into the store, so I grabbed the leash and walked the dog to the sidewalk and he immediately lied there, he was tired, I crouched next to him and started petting him, I told him it was alright, and that he had to be patient. I remember my aunt Maria and I slapped the dog's butt gently, she used to say that's the best way to comfort them.

Change

I was outside, walking towards a big wall made of something that looked like sand, it was wavy and looked a bit like a skate park, it was not too tall, maybe around my height, I reached the wall and peeked on the other side jumping, it was a huge swimming pool, impossibly large, and there were some kids on the other side. It was a public facility to exercise and I needed to run so I looked for a place where I could do it, I was expecting a track somewhere. I entered a room where two (maybe more) people were playing tennis, it was a closed clay court, I thought I wanted to play but then I thought I did that before and it was boring, I walked out of the room and I found 3 kids playing, they were running towards the swimming pool throwing rocks at each other, one of the rocks almost hit me. My feet got wet with some water coming from the pool and I thought I might as well go into the pool, but I looked straight at it and the water looked gray/dirty and I got grossed out. I kept searching for a track to run.

Change

I was in my room and somehow I had a lot more space on the left side of my bed, there was a pile of stuff there, boxes, clothes, plastic toys, pieces of other things. I noticed that under the biggest pile there was a hole on the floor and wall, and I saw cockroaches climbing, I knew I had no food around but I didn't know how this had happened. I moved some stuff around to make them run back and hide, which they did, and then I thought how I was gonna fix that. Then I realized I was in my room at my grandma's house, but there was a toilet in the room, I stood up and two men entered the room with a baby, they changed the baby's diaper in a drawer, it smelled horrible. One of the man took the baby's onesie and other pieces of clothing, including a small pink cover, and threw them in the toilet, he said he wanted to wash them and he flushed the toilet, I felt nauseated and the toilet clogged, the other man put his hand inside the toilet and took out a pink onesie, he said he didn't mean to throw that one in there and he laughed casually, I couldn't stop staring and I felt like I really wanted to puke, I started coughing and I woke up, coughing.

030

22 de abril de 2014
Sueño nocturno

I was driving a very fast car on a small rural town, it was like an old city but the poverty made it look like a town. I was driving on the right side of the car and it had only two pedals, gas and brake, I still had a stick for the gears on my right side. I remember going downhill and some kids playing on the left side of the road. I felt very confident even when I was going evidently too fast. I stopped for something, maybe a red light, and I adjusted the seat because I was too close to the wheel, then realized I was pushing the brakes all the way and the car was still moving, I pushed harder and it stopped.

Change

I was with two people walking towards a public space in the same town, there was a stage and someone was performing. One of the people I was with was a man in his 50's, the other one was a guy in his 20's maybe. The old guy was crazy, we were taking care of him because he had killed a lot of people. I was following him and he went straight to the stage and climbed from the front, I tried to grab him by the shirt but I couldn't reach him, he stood up on stage and smiled, I was afraid he was gonna kill the people on stage but he jumped back down, I held him by the shoulders and walked away, trying to move him away from the people. Suddenly I realized he had to kill everyone, it was his purpose and he looked at me absently; I was considering letting him do his will and suddenly, the young guy that I was with lost his mind and pulled a gun, I backed off and he started killing everyone, on and off stage, people started running, the old guy and I stood on one side of the public plaza, watching the horrible show. Then I realized the young guy was sacrificing himself for the old guy, he knew that if he killed everyone, the old man would be saved as he didn't have to kill anymore so I looked at the young guy with new eyes, even when he was killing everyone I saw him with compassion, suddenly he got shot, police were arriving and shot at him many times, he didn't die immediately, he stood on his knees and tried to move away, then he even tried to stand up again and walk towards the police that were shooting, I didn't watch him die, an old man came towards me:

"Run! Run before it's too late for you, young man"

So I ran, the man in his 50's was now a young teen, he must have been 15 or 17, he ran in front of me. We ran as far as we could, going through a huge door that looked like the official entrance of the public plaza where we were. I remember running a lot and not getting tired, we ran through old and beaten streets, switching between the sidewalk and the road, I don't remember any cars. I was barefoot and my skin was dark.

Change

The teen was now trying to get back home, and I helped him search, we walked towards a building of at least 4 floors, it was made of wood, or at least covered by wood, it was dark varnished wood. I pushed a door open and discovered it was a funeral home, we walked in, where were many coffins inside and people crying and drinking coffee. At one side of the hall there was one gray coffin made of metal, it was in a restricted area and looked like the person there was the most important, there were other small coffins made of wood all over the hall, maybe 30 people cried around them. We walked on our toes and crossed the hall to the opposite side, we came out and it was a busy street, reminded me of Mexico City. He said he knew the way, and pointed at a quad bike so we jumped in it and stole it, I was driving and he was behind me. We were going really fast on a wide avenue, I still don't remember seeing other cars.

A loud noise by the window woke me up, I don't know what it was.

029

6 de Abril de 2014
Sueño nocturno

I was at a party with old friends from high school. I was sitting on the right side of a gray love seat with my friend Agustin on the left. On my right, on a smaller couch was Iva, laying on her back and speaking in fluent Spanish with my friend Ricardo, who was in another couch in front of me. I could hear a slight accent on Iva's Spanish, but she looked confident, she had both hands behind her head, she was wearing dark blue jeans, dark gray sneakers and a white t-shirt. I can't remember what she was saying.

Agustin asked me without interrupting her conversation "So that's the deal? She speaks Spanish, but do you speak Serbian?"
- "Da" I replied.
- "So you don't speak Serbian!" he laughed.
- "Da means yes, you dumbass" I said, he laughed even louder.

She looked at me for a second, she smiled but it was a friendly smile, I realized we were recently married.

We got to our house later, a two floor, big, blue house with white accents. I wanted to kiss her but she said she wanted to sleep so she went upstairs, straight to the bedroom and into the bed. She slipped in the right side of a big bed with white sheets and a creamy duvet cover.

I sat on the edge of the bed, by her hips, and looked at her, she had no make up on and she was beautiful, I didn't want to touch her. I smiled, she seemed uncomfortable, I felt my chest getting smaller and smaller on the inside, tighter, it hurt.

- "You know something? I really, really, really love you. So much." I told her one last time.
- "I really wanna sleep" She said and smiled.

I knew she was gone, I knew I haven't been loved for so long now. So I smiled again "I understand" I said, and then "Goodbye", stood up from the bed, went downstairs and walked out the house, it was still daytime.

I woke up an hour and 45 min. before my alarm went off.

028

28 de Marzo 2014
Sueño nocturno

I was walking next to a low black stone wall, about 1 meter tall, I saw a group of about 10 girls walking towards me, they looked like in their late teens, they were carrying a very pale blonde, she reminded me of Hannah; she looked unconscious, she was wearing a turquoise blue dress. They were carrying her in a weird position, exposing her vagina. One of the girls asked me if I could help, they wanted to see Alex. I didn’t know who Alex was, but I pointed to the nearest door:

- I don’t know, do you want me to ring to see if he’s there?
- Yes, please? It’s number 19

I pushed the button and waited, a male voice answered at the other side but I didn’t understand what he said, I said:

- Hey is Alex there?
- Who’s this?
- It’s Patrick… Patrick Swift from California (I made all this up on the spot)
- Speak regional.
- What do you mean?
- Speak normal!

There was a long pause but I didn’t let go on the intercom, I knew he was listening so I didn’t say anything, and I didn’t turn around to see the girls. After 5 or 10 seconds I said:

- I don’t know how do you think I should speak, but there’s a bunch of girls here, and one of them seems to really need your help.
- If I help her, would that make you happy?
- (pause) Yes… very much.
- Ok I’ll buzz you in (interference)

I thought he would buzz us in but instead he peeked through the door, and opened it himself. I couldn’t see his face. The door opened, the girls started walking in, I made a courtesy gesture with my hand to tell them they should all go first, then I suddenly started running away.

I didn’t know the guy, and my only concern was Hannah. For some reason I knew he shouldn’t see me, very dangerous people were looking for me so I just kept running. I was wearing a big piece of fabric like a coat/cape. I turned right on the next corner and got rid of it. There was a guy I knew standing there, talking to two girls, he saw me and wanted to say hi but I didn’t stop, I just said “you never saw me, alright?” and kept running, after I passed some people and cars, I realized I was wearing a black hoodie and a white t shirt under it so I took my hoodie off so I would be more difficult to recognize from a distance, they could be behind me already. I didn’t want to get rid of the hoodie so I rolled it in the shape of a football and I held it like one, and kept running.

I woke up.

027

8 de Julio de 2012
Sueño nocturno


Estaba en casa de Mitt Romney con una mujer, una periodista o algo así, él hablaba y se comportaba como un idiota, tenía fotografías en la pared y vi una de su hijo pequeño tocando un set de batería como el que diseñé para Disney, le pregunté sobre el set pero estaba disperso y no me contestó a pesar de que le pregunté dos o tres veces.


Cambio.


Terminé de desayunar en un restaurante más o menos lujoso (al parecer pasé la noche ahí porque tenía que salir muy temprano), estaba esperando a que fueran las 10:00 a.m. para ir a la escuela a recoger el resultado de un examen, no recuerdo si el último o uno de los dos últimos que me faltaban para graduarme, creo que de la preparatoria.


Me levanté para ir al baño, el capitán de meseros se puso en mi camino pensando en que me iría sin pagar, le dije que iba al baño y me sonrió nervioso. No fui al baño, fui a otro lugar, en casa de mi papá pero algo diferente, creo que me cambié de ropa. Iba a volver para pagar mi cuenta y luego ir a la escuela, eran las 10:43 y pensé en que sería bueno llamar para preguntar si estaban o no mis resultados. Decidí no llamar, tomé mi mochila y cuando me acerqué a la puerta escuché ruido de lluvia, me asomé por la ventana del comedor (de la casa de mi papá) y estaba lloviendo/nevando afuera, vi unos columpios rojos ya con algo de nieve acumulada, y la lluvia era abundante.


Me cruzaron por la mente un par de cosas que había dejado en la mesa del restaurante, mi sombrilla, que ya no hacía calor. Desperté antes de salir a la calle.

026

7 de Julio de 2012
Sueño nocturno


Estaba sentado en una mesa, a mi derecha estaba Federica con un plato de sopa, estoy seguro de que su esposo también estaba ahí pero no lo vi. Dije algo y ella comenzó a reir.